Dear U

You probably don’t know who you are. You actually probably have no idea. All I wanted was to keep my friend from a bad reputation so I got one instead. Your stupid friends called your stupid name after me in the halls for months. That was the worst year of my life already, but that was just another reminder. I don’t hate you. You don’t deserve the resources  it takes to truly hate someone. I have scares on my knees from the cuts of the gravel of the parking lot you made me get on them in. My tights tore and everyone knew what I did. It was 2 years until I did it again. I will never forget the shame I felt. I said no. I was wearing a skirt and I said no. My voice speaks for me not my clothing. Years later I warned my friend about you and she ignored me. You showed your friends a video of her doing the same thing you made me do. I’m not friends with her anymore. I hope you’re not either. Thanks for not being bad enough to give me nightmares, but fuck you for making me believe it was my fault. Fuck you for letting it be okay that my friends believe I asked for it – that I had it coming. I don’t forgive you, but I forgive myself.

Suck My Dick, St. Patty’s Day 2011

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