I’ve always considered myself an artist, although have found it difficult to accept this as a label at conjectures in my life where I felt like to truly be an artist was more about the quality of art you were making than the act of making art.
As I’ve grappled with these thoughts, actively trying to reframe the patterns that ask me to believe less of myself, I started to delve into mediums that were previously uncharted for me. One of them was digital media. I started with photoshop and making digital renderings of physical works, expanding into digital art in general and coming to a point where I purchased a digital tablet to streamline this process and give me more freedom as an artist.
Some of these were posters, and some work that I was hired to do! A lot of it was purely to explore these worlds. Above is work all done in photoshop without the tablet. Even in the course of a year, my own skills and knowledge from play was healthy for my ego and psyche. To see the improvements in my own skill set, to have the space to make mistakes with little or no consequences, to see the themes and colours of my life showing up unhindered by a paint palette or my patience.
I found a passion in digital art that wasn’t present in more tangible forms for me. The fear of cost, supplies, what happens when I fuck up wasn’t there. There was less attachment and therefor more room to be creative and explore which ended up making for better art. It also gave me the space in myself to be able to say with confidence that I am an artist.
I realized a part of why I was uncomfortable with the term Artist before was that I hadn’t found a medium I truly cared about or felt rooted in. Digital art gives me the freedom to explore all mediums without consequence. Without asking me to choose or create in a linear way.
Artist and writer were always separate identities for me. I can now see them merging, especially in the symbology of both mediums and in how I am able to share that; I feel not only that I am making art, but I am making the quality of art that I want to as well.
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