WHY “DATING” YOURSELF IS IMPORTANT “Be your own boyfriend!!!!” I shout from the rooftops every single time someone asks me …
Not all rape is violent. You don’t always know when it’s happening. It’s hard to wrap you head around. You do not feel like a changed person all at once. Your world doesn’t always shatter. Sometimes it splinters and you slowly pull out the pieces – sometimes waiting while your skin pushes it back to the surface. You try and rid yourself of it, and sometimes it takes a while for it to be apparent what exactly that means.
I feel most in my element at home in a big sweater and panties. I am the typical girl-next-door and I think thats how I’ve always idealized myself sexually as well. Perceived innocence. The knowing things you’re not supposed to know. The beauty of the mundanities of life.
You know that feeling when you know something is bad for you, and you do it anyway just to keep proving it is bad for you? Whether it be fiending for social media likes, smoking too much weed, eating gluten, not calling your friends back… I feel like that’s where I’m at.
I think I akin gratitude with complacency sometimes. While things in my life are growing or upgrading I feel a need to keep working until there is an even keel across the board, even with the knowledge that it’s unrealistic.
I think my overall resolution is to improve the way I see myself. To have the person I want to be, be the person I am. To always be questioning that and learning from myself. To trust my own answers and intuition.
I was self-conscious for so long about what people would think of someone who took so many photos of themselves. Am I a narcissist? Am I full of myself? Is there a reason for all of this? Is it really art? Does it need to be art?