I’d rather be full of myself 
than empty

And although no food
tastes as good
as skinny feels

Nothing feels worse
than being hallow
inside

You have never touched me but no-ones fingers haunt me more; memories of dreams, taunting me. But I’m glad you never did. My imagination is satisfying and I don’t like being disappointed. 

He Shot

he shot fast at a woman
beneath time her shadow bared arms
above it sweet peach blood boiled
the smell raw & rusting black
washing away the waxy love
that sealed her wounds
in one red cry

“Kiss me first, I won’t do it after.”
“Are you serious?”
“It’s disgusting.”

Now I find myself indulging in the same. It’s not a habit. Just a reminder that I don’t want to kiss you. You were only ever a lesson, showing me how to be all the things I never wanted to be; doing all the things I never wanted to do. All these things make me sick.

It’s like looking in a cracked mirror
flawed but beautiful, the same reflection
in different pieces
and she laughs how I want to laugh
and curses life in the same tune I sing
we are the same
how the sun and the moon are
   with all these little stars, bright as our
           intentions
inky as the secrets we keep
between the lines and the spaces
no back seat lovers, just loveliness
    and lonliness; scarred and shattered
broken pieces cut, handle with care
because her eyes reflect the sky
     if you remember it’s a mirror

Two Lips

Twice I turned my back on you. Two times I was so blue I had to kiss the red from others lips just to understand that those two colours made the same purple of the bruises I was covered in. Twice I was a reminder that the thorns of rose petals hide in unlikely places, that they will bite your skin drawing poison to the surface making your words black. Two times I drowned you in sweet lies, had you convinced that if the surface reflected it was pure. You saw yourself and I know you’re no saint so twice I was the alarm, going off a little too late.

blowing death into repulsive and sweet, sordid lies
a thousand dreams recall her whisper

sleep smeared goddess aching with the moon
drunk & ugly but lovely