WRITING

Like this:

Like Loading...

IN THE PRESENT

Omg @rowanmorrissy just sent me this lil gif of my birthday this year and my heart elevated to a different realm #romance

This is my mood when the moon is in capricorn - which it is today. Capricorn is an earth sign that can be pretty severe. Critical. Demanding. It's a sign I've always felt has held great dedication but also an egregious energy (egregious means great in a terrible way). I definitely respect it, but I also feel averse to it as putting myself under that critical limelight. I'm all for shadow work, but I'm a naturally optimistic person and for some reason capricorn feels pleasantly pessimistic (no offence). And today this brought me into a place where I felt like I was being judged based on my perceived sexuality and how that influenced my language. If you watched my stories from today then maybe you have an idea of what I'm talking about, but for records sake there was a comment on a post I made for my business that referenced an inappropriate use of the word femme (which was fair!) But also in the same post I felt like a judgement about my criteria to be able to utilize that word was brought into question as the article was primarily speaking to how straight women using the word femme was problematic. And i was like okay, using femme as a selling point as a business isnt okay and that's fair with the socio-economic-political connotations of it, but underlaying that was an assumption that I'm hetero, which I'm not. So this brought me into a discourse about how I dont feel seen by the culture that this article is protecting, that I thought I was supposed to be inside of, but have to keep outing myself too. I understand that I have privilege in being able to pass as hetero and in a bunch of other ways, but I think it's also over looked how much that also puts me in a position of being unseen. And after I posted on my stories I got a LOT of people saying they felt the exact same way which just makes me wonder about this bi-erasure culture and how real it is and where it actually comes from because for me today it came from the queer community, and in the past it has come from the queer community too. I've blatantly had friends who are openly gay tell me, to my face, they dont think bisexuality is real without knowing that's how I identify. Con't in comments...

Self perception is weird. I often feel like my face looks "better" when my hair is up. I feel like it's a laziness thing meets loving the shaggy bangs and bun look meets an insecurity about not always being able to control my hair/know what it looks like when it's down. Sometimes I'll even fully do it and then still put it up. Maybe it draws too much attention? Someone once told me I hid behind my long hair - now I find myself chopping it "regularly" to avoid those perceptions of being hidden. This had totally turned into a rant but anyways today I did my hair and I felt good about it and maybe that's trivial but it's a win for me - even taking the time to do that for myself is a win. Okay thanks for listening and remember to let yourself win sometimes.

When you ask for the boss • Thank you @ashleyhfx 🍊✴

I saw this view and liked it. I took a photo and debated for 10 minutes whether I should post it. "But I have a boyfriend what will people think?" "Does it send the right message?" "I don't want to attract the wrong kind of attention" Then "Why do I even care?" Someone else's perception is always out of our control - not matter what we post or who we say we are or how we act. It doesn't matter. I don't need a reason to take this photo or need to justify it. I just like it. It embodies how I'm feeling - which is empowered and tired. I dunno I just wish there was less of a culture around assessment of right or wrong things to post and more of an assessment of self and how we want to document and share ourselves. @rowanmorrissy asked me to talk abt 3 things I'm grateful for and I guess this kind of segways into it. •I'm grateful to be giving up on giving my identity to other people to control •I'm grateful for having the audacity to follow my dreams •I'm grateful for everyone in my life who allows me to be myself, and does the work to grow when they find discomfort in my expressions. Have a good day y'all

Neck mess ft. Bloodstone, diamond, gold; wishbone, moon, and double headed snake. × Purification, abundance, protection, luck, magnanimity, evolvement, desire, awakening × Scorpio season with Mercury Rx mood
connections

connections
ON MY MIND
My Tweets
Upcoming Events

No upcoming events

%d bloggers like this:

WRITING

Share this:

Like this: